An Open Letter to Santa and/or Marketing Executives (Alternative Title: Sassyfats Rages Against the Machine)

Dear Santa:

You bastard. How dare you put such high expectations into the minds of children and then expect their parents to put forth all the effort and expense while you sit back and take all the credit? What the hell kind of operating model is that? You know what, you greedy bastard? I’m gonna eat your cookies this year. Yep, I’m gonna help the girls choose two or three cookies to put out on a plate for you on Christmas Eve – which they do with love and concern for you, dammit!! – and as soon as they go to bed, I’m gonna eat ‘em. The cookies, not the children. You will not see even one crumb on the plate, you two-faced dream stealer!

Of Thanking and of Giving

To get myself into the proper frame of mind this holiday season, I have been participating in the Facebook trend of saying what I am thankful for each day. Some days it’s as simple as being thankful that coffee exists. Other days I bring out the big topics, like being thankful that my husband is alive and my kids are healthy.